Moronic Western Jihadists Complain About Poor Internet, Lack Of Starbucks In Islamic State

Jihadists who have left everything behind in the west to seek glory in the Islamic State Caliphate are finding out the hard way that life isn’t what they assumed.

In other words, they miss going to Starbucks. A new report from the Middle East Media Research Institute took a look at social media posts emerging from ISIS troops in Syria and Iraq and found that there’s widespread dissatisfaction and disillusionment with standards of living, Fox News reports.

The restaurants are terrible, Internet and cell service leave much to be desired and perhaps the worst, people at beauty salons are rude.

“I know it may be shirk [idolatry] but sometimes I do miss Starbucks. The coffee here is beyond wretched,” one militant’s tweet read.

But female militants seem to complain the most.

“There are salons but, trust me, you’re better off getting a sister here to do your hair/make-up etc., for two reasons,” one group blog said. “The style here isn’t really that nice and their makeup most of the time goes toward the clowny look”

In another case, a Belgian fighter made it clear the first day he arrived that he didn’t like ‘Arab food.’

There’s even a certain amount of clash between local and foreign fighters.

“If I hear one more European muhajirah [migrant] trashing Arab sisters I’m going to lose it,” Twitter user @GreenBirdofDabiq tweeted back in early September. “If you didn’t like Arab culture, u shouldn’t have come here. And don’t trash our Syrian sisters who didn’t grow up with the wealth u have. Yr not better than they r and u risk nullifying yr hijrah.”

Fighters bitterly complaining about the difference between western and Arab standards of living is not a new occurrence. Back in September, one British fighter said that local Arabs steal his shoes and don’t know how to line up properly. The complaints came from 27-year-old Omar Hussain, who snuck in to Syria in January 2014. He used to work as a security guard at Morrison’s supermarket.

Still, he maintained that even though there are cultural clashes, Arabs and non-Arabs are united.

In April, terrorists took to social media to whine about menial jobs. They were outraged that they had to clean toilets of senior leaders. Mundane jobs just weren’t what many westerners were expecting upon arrival.